the dog days of april through october

our neighbors have dogs. 4 or 5, actually, very large dogs. i am sure deep down they are nice, really, but bored out of their minds.
the children, on the other hand, are now terrified of dogs, any dogs, to the point of hysterics and tears. the weather is nice now, so they want to play in the backyard, but the minute they get out there, the dogs start up, and it's all over...

illustration friday- "primitive"

For Illustration Friday, "primitive." I have wondered whether our ancestors had the same mood swings, irrational cravings, etc when pregnant as we do today.
P.S. Note to friends before you freak out: I am NOT pregnant.

So what DOES the Easter Bunny look like?

some questions are better left unanswered...

a couple from the vaults

i was going through some old storyboards this weekend & found these xeroxes.

the first can be titled "tina vs. soy milk"


and in this one i appear to be a drunken homeless elf:
(possibly an abandoned christmas greeting?)

ding! ding!

tina in stereo

now you can pretend to hang out with me!
note the fancy new "radio tina" box on your right- just press play & i will impose my musical interests upon you from afar. i found this on my pal rob's blog. they don't have everything available yet (no pixies? breeders? valaida snow? BUT they do have the theme from the munsters, so yay) and some are weird "live" versions (sorry) but it is pretty cool.
so listen to it while you visit me here & wade through my self-pity...it's just like you are trapped in my car, but without the fear of pain and death!
also, you can click on the little icon in the lower right corner of the box and it will open in a separate window, so you can STILL enjoy the crap i like while you are doing things other than reading my blog. lucky you.

in which i blame diablo cody for my own ineptitude

a multi-panel extravaganza, done in photoshop.
sigh...
also submitted for illustration friday "choose" since i chose...poorly.
and d.i.y. bangs are, for most of us, a bad choice. or maybe just me.
anyway, if you see me and my 1/2 inch long bangs, please say hello.

more baby weight

yes, this is a real dvd, and everyone on it is having a GREAT TIME.
i am having a better time now, eating ice cream in my pajamas.

is your baby demon spawn too?

so i made a new infant onesie (in illustrator) for my cafepress shop:


it's funny 'cuz it's true.

"foreclosure" is the new "f" word

the REAL ending to the "let's find a job game." is anybody out there?

that sucker was a bad idea anyway

either that, or the stomach flu is back

nope, it's happiness! seriously, that workshop was like a self-help retreat.

omg, lynda barry PART TWO!

i met lynda barry!!! her writing workshop, writing the unthinkable, was AMAZING and so was lynda! yay! look, i am smiling so big that you can see every last one of my choppers! count 'em! plus she liked my post-it comics, or at least said she did, so hooray!
update:
and then, after i posted the above picture, my pal tim sent me this:

omg, lynda barry!!!!

oh my stars and garters!!! i am going to the amazing lynda barry's writing workshop this weekend in chicago and i am both elated and terrified. (what if she yells at me?)
i am going with my pal barb who does fantastic comics as well.
my husband (my poor, poor husband, who will be watching the demon children) wants me to print out a bunch of my post-it comics to give to her but i am too scared.

oh yeah, happy new year

so, i haven't posted for awhile...

for kim, who injured herself and lived to blog about it

so i had breakfast with my pal kim this morning, and we were joking about our blogs and how most of everything that happens to us ends up posted in cyberspace for any number of random strangers (well, and friends too). anyway, at the time i hadn't read her post yesterday about her accident-prone day, so i thought i'd illustrate it for her now.
ps. i laughed out loud when i drew this, which is sort of embarrassing.
pps. yes, i know i didn't draw the reflection in the mirror. i am lazy.

a video

public service announcement: okay, so carson made me watch this, and now i'm making you watch it, because it's really great and everyone should watch this. ken robinson addresses creativity in schools, and he is actually really funny too.

saint nick comes tonight, whoever he is

oh man, I DON'T KNOW! so, okay, tonight (Dec. 5th), saint nick comes to put a couple little treats (usually candy, a little toy, and an orange) in your stocking if you have been good. if not you get coal (for making a snowman! yay!), OR (so i've read) if you've been very bad, a spanking, and if you've been REALLY bad, he will take you away in a sack. sleep tight, kids!
anyhoo, we've always celebrated st nick's growing up (apparently a regional thing, who knew?) but i don't know: are saint nick and santa claus the same? or are they pals? brothers? acquaintances? rivals? saint nicholas rides a white horse, santa has a sleigh with reindeer. cripes. i think i'm going with brothers (which i have just totally made up). is it too early for egg nog?
help me out, people!!

ebay christmas

that little brother is costing me more than he's worth these days. (or so it would seem.)

lullaby of the inept mother

i am on baby #3 and my repertoire consists of a few commercial jingles and the "banana splits" theme. sometimes i actually make them start crying when i sing.

another body-image rant

OK, I am NOT making this up. There is a new body design for our old pal Barbie® called the "Model Muse®" body (see it here) that is literally grotesquely skeletal. Um, WHAT? A Barbie® with actual thighs was too much? Did they look at this and say "THAT'S what we need to sell to young girls!" ??
(And as my sister-in-law observed, "Ken would be sad.")
I am going to eat a donut now. For Barbie®.
ALSO: I just noticed the Illustration Friday topic for today is excess, which fits for this too! OMG! And I just did a blog search for "model muse Barbie" and came up with this and this. All right, girls!!

my apologies to dr seuss, and also my husband

he actually got through the whole book, which is better than i would have done.

the monkey house

for illustration friday, "zoo"

tina pitches her show

also i drew this while holding a large infant.
p.s. jill talley would be perfect!

my children's book

my husband suggested i write a children's book based on my "tina" character.

rain cloud

rejection letter season always seems to follow self-promotion season. lots of completely valid constructive criticism ("keep going!"). but everything comes out cute. i'll never be a lisbeth zwerger. or vince waller (dang). the best i have to hope for is emulating someone who mashed their hands in a waffle iron.

beat poetry for moms

also submitting to illustration friday- hey, there are hats...

HEY EVERYBODY

ugh, i HATE having to look for work. why can't people just magically find me? i'm actually embarrassed that my "serious" portfolio url is my actual name.com, it seems so egomaniacal. sigh.

the horror!

it's getting to be that time...

it is starting to get cold at night...the date the heat is officially turned on for the season in your house is a matter of pride here (okay, so, there isn't much else going on). at the grocery store, you can hear strangers comparing notes: "it was so cold last night i almost turned the heat on!" (it was 38!)

he only likes me for my glasses

okay, i'm exaggerating. with my glasses off, the baby is just a fleshy blob. actually, he's pretty much just a fleshy blob anyway. never mind.